Harvest Moon
by Nora-lmc
Summary: Finished! Chapter 6 is up. Takes place after No Strings Attached. Abby receives the other call
1. Welcome Back, Carter

DISCLAIMER**:**  None of the characters belong to me.  If they did, the second half on Season 9 would have closely resembled this story!  Also, the title has been taken from the Neil Young song, "Harvest Moon," which can be found on his album, Harvest Moon.

CATEGORY:  Carby Angst RATING:  PG-13__

SPOILERS:  This story takes place after No Strings Attached (mid-season 9).  Some parts in the initial chapters may mirror events in A Boy Falling Out of the Sky.

SUMMARY: Abby receives "the other call," and Carter tries to support her, but finds himself being pushed further and further away.  

CHAPTER ONE:

Welcome Back, Carter

I'm living for the only thing I know  
I'm running and not quite sure where to go  
I don't know what I'm diving into  
Just hanging by a moment here with you

                                         -Lifehouse

As Carter looks out the taxi window, he notices that it has begun to lightly snow.  The wind must also be picking up because the snowflakes are being blown around violently, dancing in circles as they rise and fall in the air.  He pulls his coat tightly around his body, and he finds it hard to believe that just a few short hours ago he was in a tropical climate.  He was waiting in the airport for one of his college friends to pick him up when he checked his messages.  The message indicator read "0," but the caller i.d. showed that Abby had called four times.  Had it been once, he would have thought she was just calling to see if he has arrived in Belize safely, or if he was lucky, to say that she missed him.  But four calls, well, he knew that something was wrong.  He closes his eyes as he remembers how fragile she had sounded on the phone, her voice cracking, and her desperate attempts to change the subject.

"Eric's plane disappeared.  Went off radar or something…"

"Oh my God, did it crash?"

"They don't know.  Have you been in the water yet?"

Abby had been so adamant about him not coming home, but he was just as determined to not listen to her.  The cab pulls up next to the curb of her building and he pays the driver.  After he has exited the cab, he inhales sharply as the cold air hits his lungs.  

He looks up to the sky, searching for the moon.  When he was a child, the moon had fascinated him.  He always thought it was ironic that the one thing that lights up the sky at night actually produces no light of it's own; it simply reflects the light of the sun.  Gamma had bought him a telescope for Christmas one year, and he remembers spending hours looking into the sky at night.  He also remembers Gamma teaching him about the phases of the moon and how these phases are created by the angle in which we see the moon from the Earth.  A full moon means that the lighted side of the moon is facing the Earth.  A new moon means the lighted side of the moon is facing away from the Earth.  This was always his least favorite phase because it appeared there was no moon at all.  He continues to look at the sky, and between the swirling snowflakes he finds it.

It is a new moon.  

He braces himself as he walks up the stairs to the apartment.  He finds himself becoming nervous, although he doesn't know why.  He supposes it is because he's not quite sure what state he'll find Abby in, and he's not confident he will be able to provide her with the comfort she needs.  As he opens the apartment door and steps inside into the darkness, the first thing he notices is the scent of stale cigarette smoke.

"Abby," he quietly calls out.  

He unzips his coat, and the next thing he notices is a half full bottle of tequila.

*shit*

He slowly walks to the bedroom and sees Abby lying on her side.  The alarm is blaring, and as he reaches over to turn it off he realizes that she has drunk herself into a coma-like stupor.  Part of him is filled with anger; how could she do this to herself?  Another part of him is filled with guilt for not being there for her.  But the largest part of him is filled with sorrow.  Because he knows how desperate she must have felt, because he doesn't want her to have to deal with the loss of her brother, and because, once again, life has given her a raw deal.

The only thing he can do now is to lie down next to her and hold her close.  He realizes she is not even aware of his presence, but he hopes that on some subconscious level he can help her to feel not so alone.

~

Carter is cleaning up the kitchen when he turns around to see Abby standing in the doorway.  She looks terrible.  He can only imagine how terrible she feels.  He's been back for a few hours now and has had some time to digest the idea of how much she drank, and it is a struggle for him to remain nonjudgmental.

"When did you get back?"

"A few hours ago.  You were still sleeping."  He picks up the tequila bottle and screws the cap back on.  He is wondering what her response will be, if she will try to downplay what happened here last night or try to make up excuses.  She surprises him when she skips the subject altogether and instead asks,

"Did the phone ring?"

He shakes his head.

"I thought I heard the phone ring."

He proceeds to ask her if she can eat or if she wants some aspirin, but she ignores his attempts to get her to talk about the tequila.  She surprises him for the second time when she tells him she is going to work.

"You're going to work?"

"Gotta keep busy."

He begins to forget about the alcohol as he realizes how close to the edge she really is.  "Well let's go do something."

"I can't drop it now."

He knows what she is doing.  Trying to maintain her routine so she won't have to believe that anything has changed and that everything is fine.  He also knows that it won't work, and he's pretty sure she realizes this too.  "I'll call in for you."

She angrily tries to push past him towards the bathroom.  "I'm going to work!"

He grabs her arms and looks her in the eye.  "Hey!"

She slowly collapses into his chest, and he wraps his arms around her.  She feels so small against him.  "They're going to find him."

He knows there is a good chance this is not true, but at this point he is desperate for something to erase the vacant, hopeless look in her eyes. He pulls her even closer and he hears her whisper into his chest, 

"Thank you for coming back."

  ~

He has finally convinced Abby to let him call into work.  She's sitting on the couch, staring out the window.  He is finishing cleaning the kitchen and occasionally glances over at her, but she never shifts positions, and the expression on her face remains the same.  He finishes sweeping, and after he puts away the broom, he sits down next to her.

"Do you want me to try to make some phone calls?"

She shakes her head and speaks in monotone.  "There isn't anyone to call.  They're doing everything they can.  It's a big lake."

He sighs.  He's not sure what to do.  On the one hand, he want to tell her everything will be okay, but he also knows that, chances are, everything is not.  He opens his mouth to say something three times before he settles on simply holding her hand and staring out the window with her.

"John?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm scared."

"Me too."

He scoots closer to her on the couch and lets go of her hand and wraps his arm around her.  Abby rests her head on his shoulder and is about to say something when a loud knock on the door breaks the silence.

"Abby! Open the door!  It's Mom!"

Abby's eyes grow wide and she desperately shakes her head no.

"Carter, I can't deal with this right now.  It's too much.  Please."

 Maggie continues to pound on the door, the noise blasting through the apartment.

"I don't think she's going anywhere Abby.  But," –he squeezes her thigh- "I'm not either."

Abby closes her eyes, and he walks over to the door.  The instant he opens it Maggie bursts through.

"Abby!   Thank god.  We have to find Eric!"

~

He is thoroughly exhausted.  He has spent the past four hours playing mediator between Abby and her mother.  Maggie was frantic, begging Abby to travel to Ohio to talk to the FAA.  Abby was defiant, refusing to go anywhere.  Maggie accused Abby of not caring, and Abby accused Maggie of not being able to accept the truth. It ended with Abby hiding in the bedroom and Maggie pleading with Carter to "talk some sense into her."  Carter tried to explain that right now Abby just needed some time to process everything, but Maggie did not want to accept that answer.  She stormed out because she just "had to do something," and now Carter is left standing in the kitchen, wondering how things could have changed so dramatically in the past 24 hours.

He approaches the bedroom door and gently knocks to announce his presence.  

"Abby?  You okay?"

He gets no response, and he walks in to find her lying on the bed in the same position he found her in that morning, but he knows she is not asleep.  He sits down on the end of the bed and rests his hand on her calf.

"Maggie left.  Said she was going to try to get you both bus tickets to Cleveland."

This gets her attention and she slowly sits up.  Her face is tear stained, and he doesn't think he has ever seen her look so drained.

"Why did this have to happen?  Eric didn't deserve any of this."  She is struggling to hold back the tears, and it is breaking his heart.

"I don't know Abby.  I really don't know.  But we're going to get through this.  I promise."

Abby slowly shakes her head.  "I don't know…"

He places both hands on the sides of her face and turns her head so that she is looking directly into his eyes.  When he speaks it is slowly and deliberately, as if he is using everything in his being to convince her that his words are true.

"We will get through this.  I promise."

Abby bites her bottom lip and closes her eyes.  When she opens them, tears fall out of her eyes and travel down her cheeks.  He catches them with his fingertips and then pulls her close to him.  They lay down on the bed, and she clutches his shirt as he continues to hold her tightly.  Her sobs grow, and then eventually subside.  Her breathing steadies and he feels her body relax into his own.   He knows that she has temporarily drifted off to sleep.  He allows himself to do the same; both of their bodies are exhausted.  His last coherent thought is that he hopes Maggie will be quiet when she returns; he wants Abby to get as much sleep as possible.  

Unfortunately, it will not be Maggie that wakes them up.  Instead, it will be the cold, harsh ring of the phone.

  **************************************************************************  

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I'm baaaaaack!  Thank you to everyone who sent such encouraging reviews for my last story.  I was really only planning on writing that one, but everyone was so kind that it motivated me to continue writing.

Warning:  This story will be angst-filled.  I'm not going to give away the entire story, but I will say that it should be worth it in the end. 

And of course, PLEASE REVIEW!  I LOVE feedback!


	2. The Other Call

DISCLAIMER**:**  None of the characters belong to me.  If they did, the second half on Season 9 would have closely resembled this story!  Also, the title has been taken from the Neil Young song, "Harvest Moon," which can be found on his album, Harvest Moon.

CATEGORY:  Carby Angst RATING:  PG-13__

SPOILERS:  This story takes place after No Strings Attached (mid-season 9).  Some parts in the initial chapters may mirror events in A Boy Falling Out of the Sky.

SUMMARY: Abby receives "the other call," and Carter tries to support her, but finds himself being pushed further and further away.

CHAPTER TWO:

The Other Call

_Darling are you healing  
from all the scars appearing  
Don't it hurt a lot  
Don't know how to stop  
Don't know how it stops…_

_                        Annie Lennox_

The shrill ring of Abby's cell phone causes Carter's eyes to fly open.  He is disoriented for a moment, and finds himself wondering why he is sleeping in his clothes, on top of the covers.  However, by the third ring, the events of that morning come back to him, and the sick feeling in his stomach that has been present ever since Abby called him at the airport immediately returns.  He sits up and sees Abby sitting on the edge of the bed, reaching for the phone.  He notices her hands are shaking.

"Hello?"

Carter scoots over so that he is next to Abby on the bed.

"This is she."

He rests his hand on her thigh.  Abby looks at John and nods her head; this is the call that they have been simultaneously praying for and dreading.  He gives her thigh a gentle squeeze.  Abby is silent for a moment as she listens to the voice on the other end of the phone.  He hears the faint murmur of the voice stop, and wonders why Abby is not saying anything.  The person on the phone must too, because after a moment Abby says, 

"Yeah, I'm still here."  She grabs a pencil and notepad from the nightstand and jots down a phone number.  He cannot read her expression, and it is a little unnerving to see her so emotionless after hearing what could either be extremely good or bad news.

"Alright, thank you."  Abby turns off her phone and sets it down on the nightstand.

He patiently waits for her to tell him what happened, but she remains silent, staring at the floor.  

"Well?"

Her head remains low and her voice quiet as she replies, "They found his plane.  It washed up on the shore of Lake Erie.  Eric is dead."

Eric is dead.  He waits for her to break down into tears or start shouting, but instead she stands up and walks into the living room.  Carter follows her and watches as she straightens the pillows on the sofa.

"I need to tell Maggie.  Did she say what time she would be back?"

He shakes his head no, and she walks to the kitchen where she begins to put away the dishes from the dishwasher.

"He gave me a number to call to get the full report, but they won't have that for a few days.  They're going to transport his body back to Minnesota…"

She stops and holds her forehead in her hands, her elbows resting on the counter.  He walks over to her and gently turns her around.  She looks down at the floor.

"I should have known when he came to see me.  He was so at peace with himself.  He apologized and told me he loved me.  He was saying goodbye."

Carter takes her hands in his own.  He is surprised she isn't crying.  He thinks he would somehow feel better if she was.

"Abby, listen to me.  Do _not _blame yourself for this.  You did everything you could to help Eric.  This was not your fault."

She shakes her head and turns away from him.  He knows she is trying to push him away; it is what she does when she is hurting.

"Could you go try to find Maggie?"  Abby turns around and looks at him with pleading eyes.

He really does not want to leave her alone right now, but he knows that Maggie needs to be told.  He notices Abby's gaze is fixated on something behind him on the counter.  He turns to see what she is looking at.  The sick feeling in his stomach doubles when he realizes it is the bottle of tequila.

"John, please…" Abby whispers.

"I'm not leaving."

Abby nods her head, knowing that she won't win this argument.  She turns and heads toward the bedroom.  He is not sure if he should follow, and she clears up his confusion when she calls out in a shaky voice, 

"I just need a couple minutes by myself."

He hears the bedroom door slam shut and tears begin to form in his eyes.  He thinks to himself how unfair this is.  How can one person be put through so much?  And why now?  He and Abby were doing so well.  He was happier than he had ever been in his life, and he was pretty sure the same was true for Abby.  Abby had finally begun to allow herself to believe that she could be happy, and that she deserved to feel that way.  And now, well, he knows this is going to be near impossible for her to go through.

He sits down on the couch and throws his head back, praying that eventually things will return to normal, and this will turn out to just be a horrible nightmare.

~

About twenty minutes later Maggie bursts through the door.

"John, where's Abby?  I got us two tickets to Cleveland.  We leave in an hour."

He opens his mouth to reply when he hears the bedroom door open.

"We're not going to Cleveland, Maggie."

"Of course we are.  It's so much better to talk to these people face to face rather than-"

"They found his plane."  Abby has now reached the living room.  Maggie stands with her mouth open for a moment.  Carter wonders if he should say something, but Abby continues.

"Eric is dead."

Maggie shakes her head slowly from side to side for a moment, and then breaks down and begins sobbing.  She walks over to Abby and holds out her arms, and Abby rather stiffly returns the hug.  After a few minutes, Abby pulls back, looking very uncomfortable.  She relays the information the FAA has given her.

Maggie is a wreck, and shakily asks Abby, "Can I use your phone?  There are a few people I should call."

Abby nods her head and gestures towards the phone.  She then heads back to the bedroom.  This time, he follows her.  She grabs a cigarette off the dresser and stands by the window, silently inhaling and exhaling the smoke.

"Can I do anything?"   He knows it is a stupid question, but is not sure what else to say.  He has never seen her in this state before.  She looks completely devoid of any emotion.  She ignores his question and continues to look out the window.

" John?"

He immediately walks over to her.

"He did this because of me."

He looks at her quizzically.

"He knew that I'd have to spend the rest of my life taking care of him, worrying about him.  He told me when we went to see his plane that he didn't want that to happen.  I told him it wouldn't be like that, and even if it were I wouldn't care because I loved him.  But he didn't believe me."

He doesn't know what to say in response.  He knows that there is nothing he could possibly say that would make her feel any better.  She puts out her cigarette and she turns to face him.  He examines her face for a moment and sees that her eyes have filled with tears.

"It's okay to cry you know."

She whispers so softly that he can barely hear her.  "No, because then it would be real."

He pulls her close to him, gently stroking her hair with his left hand, his right resting on her back.  She remains quiet, but after a few minutes he feels his shirt becoming wet and realizes that she is crying.  They remain like this for a while.  Carter occasionally whispers words of comfort while Abby continues to silently sob into his chest.  While they stand there, he looks out the window at the night sky.  It is overcast, and that, combined with the haze of the city's lights, makes it impossible to see any stars or the moon.

And he wishes that he could take her away to a place where nothing could hurt her, and the night sky is so clear that every constellation is bright and vivid, and where their is always a full moon, because the lighted side would constantly be facing the Earth.

 **************************************************************

AUTHOR'S NOTE:  Thank you to those who reviewed the previous chapter.  I'm glad that you are enjoying it so far.

Please Review!  I haven't written much, and can use all the feedback I can get!


	3. Trouble

DISCLAIMER**:**  None of the characters belong to me.  If they did, the second half on Season 9 would have closely resembled this story!  Also, the title has been taken from the Neil Young song, "Harvest Moon," which can be found on his album, Harvest Moon.

CATEGORY:  Carby Angst RATING:  PG-13__

SPOILERS:  This story takes place after No Strings Attached (mid-season 9).  Some parts in the initial chapters may mirror events in A Boy Falling Out of the Sky.

SUMMARY: Abby receives "the other call," and Carter tries to support her, but finds himself being pushed further and further away.  

CHAPTER THREE:

Trouble

I never meant to cause you trouble,  
And I never meant to do you wrong,  
And I, well if I ever caused you trouble,  
O no, I never meant to do you harm.

                                    -Coldplay

Carter checks his watch.  Abby should be arriving at work any minute now.  It has been over three weeks since they found out Eric had died, and he has barely seen her in that time.  She is working half shifts and things have been so hectic at the hospital that they have had few opportunities to talk.  When they do, Abby seems distant, always rushing off to do something else.  Every night he calls her when he finishes his shift to see if she wants him to come over, and every night she asks him not to come.  She says it is because she and Maggie need some time alone, but it still makes Carter uneasy.  He often considers ignoring her request, but he is hopeful that this tragedy is bringing Abby and her mother closer together, and he doesn't want to interfere with that.

"Carter, we could use some help over here."  Carter is snapped out of thoughts and looks over to see Susan rolling in a GSW.  He reluctantly leaves his post at admit, looking over his shoulder at the door hoping to see Abby coming in, but having no such luck.

~

After working on the gun shot victim for ninety minutes, he is finally able to leave the trauma room.  He knows that Abby has to be here by now.  He sees Frank and asks, 

"Do you know where Abby is?"

"At home.  She called in sick this morning."

"Is she okay?"

Frank rolls her eyes at him.  "No, didn't you hear me?  She's sick, which implies she is not okay."

He walks away, and enters the lounge.  He picks up the phone and dials Abby's number.

"Hello, this is Abby.  I can't come to the phone right now…"

He puts down the receiver and sighs.  He is glad that Maggie is town to take care of her, but he wonders why she didn't answer the phone.  He has little time to think it over, however, because multiple traumas rolls in and he is called back to work.

~

Six hours later, Carter is finally able to take a break.  He sits down in the lounge and closes his eyes.

"Are you as exhausted as I am?"

He looks up and sees that Susan has entered the room.  She walks over to coffee machine and pours them some coffee.

"This has been the shift from hell."

Susan rolls her eyes. "Tell me about it.  Seems like things are finally slowing down though.  Hey, how's Abby?  I heard she called in sick."

"I don't know.  I haven't been able to get in touch with her."

Susan looks at her watch.  "Well, you're off in an hour, right?  I can cover for you if you want to go see her."

He breaks into a grin.  "Thanks, you're the best."

"Anytime.  And of course I expect the favor to be returned."

"Consider it done!"

~

As Carter walks to Abby's apartment he begins to feel nervous.  He hopes it is all right that he is stopping by without notice.  He realizes how strange it is that he feels that way.  Just a few weeks ago he would have thought nothing of it; he and Abby were practically living together.  But since Eric had died, she has seemed different.  Different because she is obviously devastated, but also different in the way she acts towards Carter.  She acts as if she doesn't want anything to do with him, and like she doesn't want him around.

He finally reaches his destination and carefully opens the door to the apartment.  He walks in and looks around.  He doesn't see anyone so he heads towards the bedroom.  It is empty as well.  He wonders where Abby and Maggie could have gone if Abby really was feeling sick.  He sits down on the couch and absentmindedly flips through a stack of magazines and catalogs sitting on the coffee table.  Something catches his eye.

It is a receipt for a plane ticket.

In Maggie's name.

For a flight that left over two weeks ago.

He stares at the piece of paper for a moment, and a sick feeling enters his stomach.  Why would Abby lie about her mom being in Chicago?  He stands up and begins to wander the apartment.  He realizes that none of Maggie's things are there.  No suitcases, no clothes, no toiletries.  Nothing.  Abby has been alone for over two weeks.

Abby has been alone.  He walks over to the refrigerator and opens the door.  Milk, bread, leftover takeout…  He sighs out loud when he sees there is no alcohol present.  However, he is not completely satisfied with his search, so he opens the trashcan.  

It is filled with empty beer bottles.

Before he has time to process this information he hears the click of the door and looks up to see Abby standing there with a grocery bag.  He watches as her eyes travel from his face to the trashcan and back to his face.  She sets down the bag and shuts the door.  She looks like a deer caught in headlights.

"What are you doing here?"

She slurs her words, and as he approaches her, he sees that her eyes are bloodshot.  She is drunk.

"I heard you were sick and I came to see how you were feeling.  Where's Maggie?"

She looks down and he can see that she is debating whether she should continue the lie or give up.  She decides to give up and replies, 

"She's in Minnesota."  She runs her hand through her hair and shakily walks over to the kitchen table where she sits down.  The light is brighter there, and he is able to get a better look at her.  She looks like she hasn't slept in weeks.  There are dark circles under her eyes, her skin is pale and lifeless, and her hair is a mess.

"You look like hell."

"Really?  Cause I feel pretty good."

He sits down at the table with her.  "Where were you?"

"At the store."

He nods his head.  "Run out of beer?"

An angry look suddenly flashes across her face.  "Don't start with me Carter.  I don't need a lecture right now.  I know what I'm doing, and I have things under control."

"Really.  Is that why you didn't show up at work today?  Because you were too busy getting things under control?"

She looks at him with such anger that it frightens him for a moment.  "I want you to leave.  I want you to leave right now."

"No."

She stands up and walks over to the door.  "I mean it.  LEAVE!"

"No."

"I don't want you here."  Her voice begins to crack.  "I don't want you to see me like this.  I don't want you to go through this…"

He stands up and walks over to her.  "But I want to be here.  And no matter what you say, I'm not leaving tonight."

Tears begin to run down her face.  He tentatively reaches out and wipes them away.

"Don't shut me out," he whispers.

"You don't want to be a part of this.  Trust me."

"Trust me. I do want to be a part of this. I want to be here more than anything."

She closes her eyes for a moment.  He can't help but notice how beautiful she is, even in her current state.  When she opens them, he finds himself holding his breath, waiting to hear what she has to say. 

"I'm going to bed, I'm exhausted."

He nods his head, disappointed.  He wonders if he should join her, but is answered by the slam of the bedroom door.  He collapses on the couch, where he will spend the remainder of the night.

~

The next morning Carter wakes up at 5:15.  He looks at his watch and realizes he needs to be at work in forty-five minutes.  He groans as he sits up, sleeping on the couch has left him with a sore back and a giant cramp in his neck.  He debates whether or not to wake up Abby, and decides against it.  Instead, he leaves her a note.

Dear Abby,

I had to leave for work.  I'm off at 6:00, meet me at the hospital if you want to talk.

John 

~

When he arrives at work, he finds out that Abby has a night shift starting at 7:00 that evening.  He spends the next twelve hours hoping she will arrive early so they have a chance to talk.  At exactly 6:00, he walks into the lounge and sees her sitting on the couch.  She looks at him and gives him a half-hearted smile.

"Hey," he says.

"We need to talk"

Abby stands up and they both walk towards the elevators, instinctively heading towards the roof.  They ride up in silence, Carter's eyes never leaving Abby and Abby's eyes never leaving the floor.  When they reach their destination, they step into the cold night air and Abby immediately lights a cigarette and walks to the edge of the roof.

"I'm sorry about last night, "she begins.

"Sorry about what part?"

"I'm sorry I was so rude to you.  I'm sorry you slept on the couch.  And I'm sorry you had to see me like that."  She stares out over the city as she speaks, almost as if she is afraid to face him.

"Are you sorry you were drinking?"

She takes a drag off of her cigarette, and he is not sure she is going to answer his question.  When she does answer, her voice is quiet and distant, and he finds himself wondering if she even remembers he is standing there.

"Yeah, I'm sorry I was drinking.  And I'm sorry that the reason I was drinking was because I was too weak to help my brother.  When we found out Eric was dead, well, I felt like I had died along with him.  I couldn't take that feeling.  And when Maggie left, it was just easier to make those feelings stop rather than face them."

He steps towards her.  "You could have called me.  We could have faced them together."

Abby turns around to look at him.  "I don't want you to have to deal with all of this."  She gestures to nothing in particular.  "I know that I need to stop drinking.  And I will."

She pauses and closes her eyes for a moment.  When she opens them he is taken aback by the sadness they possess.  "I felt so ashamed this morning.  I realize that things got out of control and I need to stop.  I went to a meeting today.  I'm going to do this.  But I need to do it on my own."

"Why?"

"Because I'm not going to drag you down with me."

"That's what being a couple is all about.  Helping each other out in the bad times as well as the good.  I want to be there for you."  He pauses and gently cups her face in his hands.

"I love you."   

She pulls away from him and turns to face the city again.  "Please don't say that."

"Why not?  It's true."

She sighs and says, "Because it makes this all so much more difficult.  I can't be with you anymore.  I need to be by myself for awhile."

He begins to feel nauseated as he realizes she is slipping away from him.  "Okay, I can understand that.  If you need space, I can give it to you.  Whenever you are ready, I'll be here."

He watches the back of her head as it slowly shakes back and forth.  "No, that's not what I meant.  I can't be with you anymore."

"Why? Because you think you're protecting me?  Because you think that you'll ruin my life somehow?  I'm a grown man Abby.  And I make my own choices."

Abby turns around to face him, but can only bring herself to look at his feet.  "And I make my own choices.  And I am choosing to end this."

Abby quickly walks to the door, but before going back inside, calls over her shoulder in a shaky voice,

"I'm sorry."

He is left standing there, the cold air whipping around him.  He suddenly realizes how tired he is.  Tired of fighting Abby and the walls she puts up when she is hurt.  And as he stands on the edge of the roof, mirroring Abby's position just a few moments earlier, he silently wonders how something he had waited for for such a long time could have gone so horribly wrong. 

  ************************************************************

AUTHOR'S NOTE:  Okay Carby fans, don't kill me.  I warned you in the beginning this would be angsty.  But hopefully you also read the second part of my warning…

PLEASE REVIEW!


	4. Crossroads

DISCLAIMER**:**  None of the characters belong to me.  If they did, the second half on Season 9 would have closely resembled this story!  Also, the title has been taken from the Neil Young song, "Harvest Moon," which can be found on his album, Harvest Moon.

CATEGORY:  Carby Angst RATING:  PG-13__

SPOILERS:  This story takes place after No Strings Attached (mid-season 9).  Some parts in the initial chapters may mirror events in A Boy Falling Out of the Sky.

SUMMARY: Abby receives "the other call," and Carter tries to support her, but finds himself being pushed further and further away.  

CHAPTER FOUR:

Crossroads

The months following Carter and Abby's break-up were extremely difficult for Carter.  He was confused and angry, and seeing her at work almost every day made for an almost unbearable situation.  After their conversation on the roof he kept his distance, forcing himself to let Abby make the first move.  He knew she was pushing him away out of fear, and there was a large part of him that wanted to call her on it.  But there was another part of him that was afraid she truly did not want to be with him.  Had he had a different life growing up, he probably would have been able to silence those insecurities.  But the scars that had formed each holiday he spent alone at boarding school and each birthday he did not receive a call from his parents left him paralyzed with a fear of being rejected.  And so he waited.  Waited for Abby to approach him, waited for her to talk to him, and waited for her to give him some sort of sign that the two of them would someday find their way back to each other.

After eight months he is still waiting.

He continues to watch her at work, and it is because of the careful attention he pays her that he knows she has kept her promise to stop drinking.  She looks healthy, and she often wears an almost defiant look upon her face, as if she is controlling her alcoholism out of spite.  But he still worries, because on the rare occasion that she allows him to maintain eye contact for a few seconds he is able to see the deep sadness in her eyes.  Sadness that comes with loss and guilt.  So while he knows that she is not drinking, he also knows that she is dealing with powerful emotions that threaten prohibit her from ever being happy.

"John Carter?"

Carter looks up from the chart he is reviewing to see pretty blond women in a white lab coat speaking to him.

"Yes, that's me."

The woman holds out her hand.  "Hi, my name is Emily Jenkins.  I'm the temporary attending.  I'm filling in for a Dr. Kovac."

Carter accepts her hand and nods his head.  "Right.  He's out of the country for a few weeks, I remember Dr. Weaver saying that she hired someone to fill in."

"Well that's me.  I just moved to Chicago and am still looking for a permanent position."

"Well welcome.  I'm sure that you'll love the city."

Emily smiles at him.  "Yeah, I'm still trying to find my way around.  Have you lived here long?"

"I grew up in Chicago."

"Great, well maybe you could show me some of the sights."

Carter, distracted by the chart he is reviewing, nods his head.  "Sure, anytime."

"How about tonight?"

He looks up and realizes that Emily is doing her best to flirt with him.  His first reaction is to turn down her invitation, but then has second thoughts.  He hasn't been out socially in eight months.  A beautiful, intelligent woman is asking him on a date.  Abby has made it perfectly clear that she is not interested in getting back together.

"Sure, tonight would be great."

As he turns to leave and check on his patient, he notices Abby standing at the computer behind him.  He face is unreadable. She looks up and gives him a small smile.  For some reason, this leaves him feeling disappointed.  

~

Carter and Emily dated for the three weeks that she was working at County, but when Luka returned she took a job at Northwestern and they lost touch.  She tried calling Carter a few times, but he never returned her calls.  He liked her; she was upbeat, confident and open.  But every time they went out, he had to stop himself from comparing her to Abby.  He knows that at some point he will need to stop doing that, but he also knows that at this point he is simply not ready.

He walks into the lounge, about to start his shift, when he sees an unexpected face sitting on the couch.

"Hi John."

"Maggie.  I didn't know you were in town."  Immediately he feels nervous, usually when Maggie shows up in Chicago something is wrong, and he knows what a delicate place Abby is in right now.  "Is Abby okay?"

"Oh yes, she's fine.  I'm just in town for a visit.  Abby invited me."

He lets out a sigh of relief.  "That's great.  How have you been holding up?"

"Alright I suppose.  It's been rough.  There have been times when the only thing holding me together is knowing how unfair it would be to Abby to deal with me on top of everything else."

"I'm sorry."

"I know.  And I'm sorry you two aren't together any more.  I know you mean a lot to Abby."

He sits down at the table and absentmindedly plays with a rubber band someone has left there.  "Yeah, I think I just wasn't what she was looking for."

Maggie lets out a laugh.  "You don't get it do you?"

"Get what?"

"Abby _loves_ you. She may not realize it, but I do.  That's why she pushed you away."

He shakes his head.  "I'd like to believe that, but I don't think it's true."

"Sure it is.  You have to remember, Abby's life has taught her that whenever she cares for someone, she gets hurt.  In order to prevent herself from getting hurt, she runs away."

Maggie stands up and joins Carter at the table.  "Abby has been forced to deal with a lot in her life.  He father left her when she was seven.  I left her repeatedly, and when I was around, I wasn't much of a mother.  Richard left her when he cheated on her, and now, well, now her brother, the one person she loved more than anything, has left her too."

"John, I'm not saying that you two should get back together, that's your business.  But I do know that Abby needs a friend right now, and I know you still care about her."

"But how am I supposed to be her friend when she pushes me away?"

"Push back.  Did she tell you about the memorial service we are having for Eric next week?"

He shakes his head.

"It's been almost a year since his death and we never had a proper funeral.  We were both too upset and angry to deal with that.  But now I think we're both ready to say goodbye.  So we're having a small service in Minneapolis.  I would love it if you could come."

"I don't think Abby would be too pleased if I came."

"I think she would be extremely pleased, she would just never admit it.  This is going to be rough on her, and whether she realizes it or not, she is going to need you there.  Just consider it, okay?"

"I'll think about it."

Just then Abby walks into the room.  She looks from Carter to Maggie with a worried look on her face.

"Hey Carter.  Mom, I just need to get my things and then I'll be ready to go."

Maggie stands up and walks to the door.  "Okay sweetie, I'm going to use the ladies' room before we leave.  I'll meet you outside.  Nice to see you John."

"Bye Maggie."  Carter remains seated and watches Abby as she gathers her belongings from her locker.  "I didn't know your mom was in town."

"Yeah, she just got in this afternoon."  Abby turns around to face Carter as she removes her hair clip, a ritual she always performs at the end of her shift.  Carter watches as her hair tumbles down below her shoulders.  He always loved it when she wore her hair down, and this simple act causes his breath to catch in his throat.

"She told me about the memorial service."

Abby looks down at her shoes for a moment.  Carter suppresses his desire to wrap his arms around her and tell her everything will be okay, but it is difficult.  He knows she needs someone to do that for her, but he also believes that she does not want him to be that person.

Abby remains silent so Carter continues.  "I'd like to go."

"It's in Minnesota."

"I know."

"Look, Carter," she raises his head to meet his eyes, "I appreciate it.  I really, really do.  But I'll be okay."  She turns around to shut her locker.  "Besides, I'm sure Emily wouldn't be too happy if you went on a trip with your ex-girlfriend."

Carter outwardly cringes when Abby utters the phrase "ex-girlfriend."  He stands up and walks over to the lockers.

"We aren't dating anymore."

Abby opens her mouth to say something, but then closes it.  She buttons her coat and picks up her bag.  "I've got to go.  I'll see you when I get back."

And with that she walks out the door, leaving Carter alone once again.

 ***************************************************************************

AUTHORS NOTE:  Sorry for the lack of updates, the holiday season has kept me busy.  I probably won't be able to update again until after Christmas.

Please let me know how you think the story is going so far.  This one has been a little more challenging to write than my previous story, but I'm hoping that is still enjoyable to read.  Constructive criticism is appreciated.  Thank you to everyone who has reviewed the previous chapters.

Have a great holiday!   


	5. Hidden Places

DISCLAIMER**:**  None of the characters belong to me.  If they did, the second half on Season 9 would have closely resembled this story!  Also, the title has been taken from the Neil Young song, "Harvest Moon," which can be found on his album, Harvest Moon.

CATEGORY:  Carby Angst RATING:  PG-13__

SPOILERS:  This story takes place after No Strings Attached (mid-season 9).  Some parts in the initial chapters may mirror events in A Boy Falling Out of the Sky.

SUMMARY: Abby receives "the other call," and Carter tries to support her, but finds himself being pushed further and further away.  

CHAPTER FIVE

Hidden Places

_The hurt gets worse and the heart grows harder_

_                                    -Warren Zevon_

Carter absentmindedly taps the steering wheel of his rental car as he drives through the unfamiliar streets of a small town outside of Minneapolis, Minnesota.  After days of internally debating whether or not to respect Abby's wishes and remain in Chicago, he finally decided to come to Eric's memorial service.  He knows that he is risking angering Abby and pushing her further away, but he can not stand to be so far away from her when he knows how much pain she will be going through.  He phoned Maggie to find out the location of the service (breaking a few laws by going through Abby's personnel file at work to get her number) and she had seemed relieved he would be there.  Carter however, is feeling anything but relief at the moment, and as he approaches his destination he begins to regret his decision.  

He pulls up to a small cemetery where Eric was unceremoniously buried last year.  The service is being held outdoors, and Carter is thankful that it is an unseasonably warm day.  However, unseasonably warm in February is still pretty cold in Minnesota, and Carter finds himself shivering as he greets the frigid air.  He slowly walks over to an area where he sees a small crowd of people gathering.  He spots Maggie and is about to wave to her when he sees Abby.  

She is wearing black pants and long, black coat that is pulled tightly around her body.  Her hair is down, and when the wind blows it whips around her face, making it difficult to see anything but a mass of light brown tresses being thrown in a hundred different directions.  She is speaking to a man who appears to be Eric's age, and he wonders if this is a childhood friend.  Abby is smiling politely, and Carter can tell she is trying her best to put on a brave front.   He knows she must be hating this; she is risking others seeing her a vulnerable state.  Carter finds himself wishing all of these people would leave so that Abby could let herself feel the emotions she has locked up inside of herself.

A minister arrives and asks for everyone to be seated.  Instead of sitting, Carter stands at a distance behind some trees.  He cannot hear the service, but is able to view Abby from the side.  He is not entirely sure why he is so hesitant for Abby to realize he is present.  

Maggie is seated next to Abby, and Carter watches as she cries and reaches over to her.  Abby's posture is rigid, and although she takes her mother's hand, she appears almost robotic in her actions.  She does not cry when the minister prays, when Eric's friends reminisce, or when Maggie stands up to say her final goodbyes.  Carter is waiting for Abby to speak, but surprisingly, she does not.  When the service concludes, she is still sitting, staring straight ahead, mechanically stroking her mother's hand.  One by one, the guests depart, until Maggie and Abby are the only ones remaining.  He watches them speak for a moment, and the Maggie leaves as well.

Abby stands alone for a moment and then walks over to Eric's grave.  Carter is now viewing her from behind, and he is surprised at how tiny she looks, as if a sudden gust of wind would knock her over.  He knows that looks can be deceiving, and that in actuality she is probably the strongest person he knows.  But in this moment, all by herself, standing in front of her brother's grave, he sees a side of her that she so rarely shows.  A side that is vulnerable and scared and desperately wanting someone to make all of her pain stop.  He is suddenly overwhelmed by his desire to be that person, and he finds himself walking towards the small form ahead.

He sees that he shoulders are shaking, and he keeps walking towards her.

He hears her sobs, the first time he has ever heard her cry out loud, and he keeps walking towards her.

He watches as she collapses on her knees, her head buried in her hands. 

And he reaches her.

Carter kneels beside her and pulls her into his arms.  Part of him expects his actions to startle her; she had no idea of his presence at the service.  But another part of him knows that her reaction will not be one of surprise, and therefore, it seems perfectly natural to him when she immediately falls into his embrace, as if she had felt him there the entire time and was simply waiting for his physical form to arrive.

As he holds her defeated form, he begins to feel guilty.  Guilty for enjoying the feeling of her in his arms.  He has dreamt of holding her again for a year, and although the circumstances were always much happier in his dreams, the feeling he is experiencing now is a thousand times more intense than he could have ever imagined.  After awhile her cries subside, and she looks up at Carter with swollen eyes and simply says, 

"Thank you."

~

"Turn left here," Abby says.  After leaving the cemetery, Abby had asked Carter if he would like to see where she grew up.  Carter, who was just thankful that she wasn't angry with him for showing up uninvited, was thrilled and eagerly accepted her offer.  After driving for about thirty minutes, most of which was spent in a comfortable silence, they had finally reached Abby's street.

"There it is, the white one."

Carter pulls over to the curb, and they exit the car.  Looking at the small house, he finds himself trying to picture Abby as a child.  It is difficult to do because he knows that in a way, Abby never really was a child.

"Let's go for a walk," she says, and his breath catches in his throat as she takes his hand and leads him down the quiet street.

They walk in silence for awhile, both ignoring the fact that they are holding hands after hardly speaking to each other for almost a year.

"I hope it is okay that I came, I know you asked me not to."

Abby doesn't reply, but gives his hand a gentle squeeze.

They reach a dead end, and Carter begins to turn around, but instead Abby leads him through an overgrown path in a wooded area.  He wants to ask where they are going, but there is something about the look on her face and the determination in her stride that tells him to be quiet and wait for her to speak.  Eventually they reach the end of the path and Carter sees that they have reached a lake.  He looks over to Abby and sees the first genuine smile on her face in a very long time.

"It's beautiful," Carter says, and although he is referring to the lake, he is looking at the grin upon her face.

"I used to come here all the time as a kid.  No one else knew about this spot, there is a more accessible way to access the lake on the other side.  It's a great place to come when you want to be alone."

"Is this where you'd bring all your old boyfriends?"  Carter jokes.

Abby's expression grows very serious as she shakes her head.  "No, I have never brought anyone here.  Not even Eric.  This was my spot.  When Maggie was depressed or angry and I couldn't deal with it anymore I'd take Eric to his friend's house and I'd come here."

She walks over to the edge of the lake, which has a thin layer of ice on the surface, and looks out over the horizon.

"In the summer time, I'd go swimming.  I never brought my bathing suit 'cause I didn't want anyone to find out where I'd been; I wanted it to be my secret."

Carter walks over and stands beside her.  "So that's where you developed your love of skinny-dipping."

Abby smiles.  "Yeah, I guess so.  There was always something so liberating about feeling nothing but the water surrounding you.  It's the most free I have ever felt."

"Too bad the water is partially frozen right now."

"Yeah, but it's nice just to be here."

Carter looks over at her and notices she doesn't look as small as she had at the cemetery.  "I'm glad you shared this with me."

Abby smiles for a moment longer, but then her face falls. She turns to face Carter.  "So why did you and Emily break-up?"

The mood is instantly broken, and Carter sighs before answering.  "I don't know.  She's a great person.  I guess we just didn't have the right chemistry, you know?  We didn't have the same connection that…"

"John."  Abby interrupts him.

"What?"

"You know, you really shouldn't have come here."

"You don't want me here?"

This time, Abby sighs.  "No, I'm happy you are here, and I think a part of me knew you would be, but this just isn't healthy.  For either of us."

"Why not?  We're friends, right?"

Abby takes his hand and looks down for a moment.  When she speaks, she lifts up her head and looks directly into John's eyes.  "I don't think we could ever just be friends."

"No?"

She releases his hand and takes a few steps away.  "I don't want to drag you into the soap opera that is my life.  I know I've said it before, but I mean it.  You need to move on."

As Carter listens to Abby, he begins to experience the same feeling of utter exhaustion he felt the night they broke up on the roof a year earlier.  He knows that if he wants to be with Abby, he is going to need to fight to convince her that she does not bring him down, but instead builds him up to a level of happiness that he has never experienced with anyone else in his life.  But he also knows that his fragile ego can't take much more, and that logically, he _should _move on.  He throws his head back and looks up to the sky, as if searching for an answer as to what to do.  And as he looks up, he sees something.

It is the moon.

He remembers always being perplexed at the sight of the moon during the daytime as a child; in his mind, it defied all logic.  But he also remembers Gamma telling him that sometimes life defies all logic, and the moon's presence in the daytime is god's way of reminding us of that.

And he decides in that moment that he is not going to let Abby slip away.  But he also knows that now is not the time to pursue her.  He will give her space and time, and when her wounds have healed a bit more, he will be there.  As her friend, and more.

He takes her hand, ignoring the previous conversation, and begins to lead her away from her childhood sanctuary.

"Come on, Maggie must be wondering where you are."

They walk, hand in hand, back through the woods and reach the other side, still hand in hand.  And although their hands will soon part, Carter is confident that someday, down the road, they will find their own sanctuary, and their hands will join together again.

  *************************************************************************

Please review!!!!!!   


	6. Harvest Moon

DISCLAIMER**:**  None of the characters belong to me.  If they did, the second half on Season 9 would have closely resembled this story!  Also, the title has been taken from the Neil Young song, "Harvest Moon," which can be found on his album, Harvest Moon.

CATEGORY:  Carby Angst RATING:  PG-13__

SPOILERS:  This story takes place after No Strings Attached (mid-season 9).  Some parts in the initial chapters may mirror events in A Boy Falling Out of the Sky.

SUMMARY: Abby receives "the other call," and Carter tries to support her, but finds himself being pushed further and further away.  

CHAPTER SIX

Harvest Moon

_~When we were strangers  
I watched you from afar  
When we were lovers  
I loved you with all my heart~_

_  
  
_

Carter has been back in Chicago for three weeks.  Abby had taken some time off to spend with her mother, but had been vague about when she would return.  In the past, this would have worried Carter greatly; he had become very used to tracking her whereabouts in order to give himself piece of mind that she was okay.  However, for some reason, this time he is not worried at all.  When he left Minnesota, she had seemed somewhat at peace with herself, and enough of their unexplainable connection remains for him to know that she will be all right.  Therefore, he is caught off guard when he looks up from his chart reviews to see her standing on the opposite side of the admit desk, smiling at him.

"Hey."

"When did you get back into town?" 

"Just a few hours ago."

"And Weaver has you working?"

Abby shakes her head no.  Carter realizes that she has come to the hospital to see him.  He tries unsuccessfully to squash the excited butterflies that enter his stomach as he reaches this realization.

"Well I'm off, I was just catching up on some charts.  Want to go for a walk?"

Abby smiles at him again, and Carter accepts this gesture as a yes.  He grabs his coat out of the lounge in record speed and they walk together through the ambulance bay doors.  It is a chilly day, but it is sunny and the wind is relatively calm, and with Abby walking next to him, Carter feels warm enough for it to be springtime.  He turns his head to look at Abby.  She is silent, but he notices that something seems different about her.  During the past year she had carried herself as a person who had been touched by tragedy and was completely devastated.  Today, however, she marches along the sidewalk as someone who is using every fiber in their being to overcome tragedy and rise up from the ruins of their broken spirit.  And he is filled with a feeling of pride.

They reach their destination, and they sit down next to each other on their bench, both looking out over the river.  He waits patiently; he has known her long enough and intimately enough to know that it is important not to push her.  After a few moments of silence she reaches into her coat pocket and pulls out an envelope.

"What's that?" Carter asks.

"A letter.  From Eric."

Carter raises an eyebrow, waiting for an explanation.

"While I was in Minnesota, Maggie and I were cleaning and we found a bag of her things from when she was in Chicago.  She must have accidentally picked this up and put it with her things.  It's postmarked the day Eric killed himself."

Carter swallows, not sure where this is leading.  "Have you read it?"

Abby nods her head and hands him the envelope.  "Yeah, and I want you to read it too."

He tentatively takes the envelope and begins to remove the letter.  He pauses and holds it out towards Abby.  "Are you sure?  I understand if you want to keep this private."

Abby doesn't answer, but instead gently pushes the letter back towards Carter.  He looks into her eyes and he knows that this is what she wants.  He removes the paper and gingerly unfolds it.  

_Dear Abby,_

_When you receive this letter, I will already be gone, but I wanted a chance to explain myself. After I learned that I was sick, I was angry.  I did some really shitty things, mostly to you.  I know that I apologized for that, but I wanted to say it again.  I am so sorry Abby.  I never meant to hurt you.  I think the reason I took everything out on you was because you were the one person that I knew would always love me unconditionally and would always be there for me no matter what I did.  For that, I thank you._

_I don't want to live my life like this.  I don't want to live like Mom.  I know it could be different for me, but I just can't take that risk.  I don't want you to have to take care of me and worry about me for the rest of your life.  I don't want to be sick.  I don't want to fight this.  I just want it to be over.  I realize this may be the coward's way out, but it is what I am choosing to do._

_Abby, you are an amazing person.  I don't know if anyone has ever told you that, but it is true.  You are smart, funny and beautiful, and any guy would be crazy not to be with you.  I know that you don't believe that, but its true.  I wish there was someway I could make you believe it, but hopefully you'll come to that realization soon.  Until then, I want you to promise me that you will stop putting your life on hold.  You need to stop being so scared of life and to stop pushing people away.  I understand why you do it, I grew up in the same house so I understand at times it is the only form of self-preservation you have.  But life is short, and not everyone is going to hurt you._

_I love you Abby.  I couldn't have asked for a better big sister.  Know that I will always be with you._

_Love,_

_Eric _

"Wow."  Carter finishes reading and looks at Abby.  Tears are slowly rolling down her cheeks.  She quickly wipes them away.

"Sorry.  I've read that thing about a hundred times and it still gets to me."

"I can see why."  Carter folds the letter and inserts it back into the envelope.  He reaches for Abby's hand and holds it in his lap. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I actually am.  The first time I read it I wasn't.  It pissed me off actually.  He didn't need to do that.  He didn't need to end everything."  She looks down at their two hands, intertwined.  "But after awhile, I realized that there was absolutely nothing I could have done to prevent this.  Eric had made up his mind.  And even though I think it was a stupid choice, no one had the power to stop him."

Carter reaches for her other hand.  He finds that tears have made their way into his eyes as he quietly listens to Abby.

"But he's right about one thing.  I need to stop being so scared of life.  Even though, all things considered, he is extremely hypocritical for calling me on it.  I don't want to end up like Eric, and I'm just so tired of holding up the walls around me."

Abby turns her body so she is directly facing John.  He follows suit and looks her straight in the eye.  She returns his gaze and he can feel his pulse quickening.  She releases one of his hands and places it on the side of his face.  When she speaks it is in a low whisper.  

"I know that you will never hurt me, and I don't want to hurt you.  I want us to be okay."

He feels himself leaning towards her.  She tilts her head upwards and their faces are inches apart.  

"We're okay."  The second after the words have left mouth their lips meet.  When they do, he finds that the tears that have filled his eyes can no longer be contained and they roll down his cheeks.  He soon forgets about them as he feels her mouth against his for the first time in over a year.  He doesn't know how he made it through that time.  They part after a moment and Carter stands up and holds his hands out towards her.  She pulls herself up and he cups her face in his hand.

"Eric was right about another thing," he says, his voice filled with intensity.  "You are an amazing person."

  **********************************************

~But now it's gettin' late  
And the moon is climbin' high  
I want to celebrate  
See it shinin' in your eye~  
  


Carter is standing on the fire escape of Abby's apartment.  The sun has almost set and he looks out over the Chicago skyline, contemplating the events of the evening.  After their talk at the river, they had come here.  Carter had been hesitant, he wanted to take things slowly and Abby had agreed.  But they just couldn't seem to part.  It was as if spending all of that time apart had made them realize just how much they meant to one another.  So they agreed to have dinner.  They ordered take-out and were sitting on the couch watching an old movie.  A commercial came on and they both reached for the remote.  That contact alone was enough of a spark to cause their hearts to race and their bodies to tremble, and any willpower they had been exercising flew out the window.  They made love, and now Carter cannot believe how incredibly wonderful he feels.  He hears her soft footsteps behind him and he turns and helps her out onto the fire escape.  She is not wearing a coat, so he stands behind her and pulls her close, wrapping his arms around her, sheltering her from the cold.

"What are you doing out here?"

"Watching the sunset, thinking."

"Good things?"

He leans down and whispers into her ear.  "Incredibly good things."

They stand in silence until Carter can feel Abby begin to shiver.  "Come on, let's go inside."

Abby turns to head in, but pauses for a moment and turns back to face Carter.  "Thank you."

"For what?"

"For dealing with everything I put you through."

Carter opens his mouth to protest, he'd do it all again if he had to.  But as he looks at her delicate face, which seems to glow in the newly risen moon, he knows that this is not what she wants to hear, nor what he wishes to say.  So he says nothing, but leans down and places a tender kiss upon her mouth.  After lingering there for a moment, the separate and Abby goes inside.  Carter begins to follow, but turns to take one last look at the sky.

He sees that the moon has begun to rise.  It is a full moon, but it is also a harvest moon.  A moon that is an amazing mix of orange and red and appears so large that it seems to take up the whole sky.  A moon that rarely makes an appearance, and when it does, is absolutely spectacular.  A moon that is special.

A moon that is worth the wait.

~Because I'm still in love with you  
I want to see you dance again  
Because I'm still in love with you  
On this harvest moon.

_                        -Neil Young_

_  ***********************************************************************_

 Author's Note:  Thank you to everyone who has read this story.  It means a lot to me that you would take the time to read something I wrote.

Please, please review.  I'm still pretty new to this writing thing, and appreciate whatever feedback I can get.


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